I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
As I was standing there, I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin.
3 hours later and they're still walking about with it.
I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday,
so I went to our local pet shop and they were $100!!!
Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning.
Can you believe that, 2:30am?
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker.
Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.