We have the pleasure of looking after our energetic grandson during term. He loves to be outside come rain hail or shine. So one of the essential tick box items in preparation for his visit is the dog poo check.
Being a logical person I divide the back yard into segments and then do a grid search, firstly North South then East West. This is followed by a random ramble to expose any unobserved packets of poo. Brody, the dog, is a consistent little critter and tends to deposit barkers eggs in discrete piles near the edges of the lawn. Any fecal matter on the garden beds is deemed slow release fertilizer and is left in situ to decompose.
There are several complicating factors that render this process less than perfect.
- The bright winter sun at a low angle in the sky casts shadows that can hide those surprise piles and make them unobservable.
- Negligence on my part to mow the collection of weeds, also known metaphorically as “lawn”, can create hiding spots.
- Rain can change the poo into what I call “Stealth Poo” as the profile is degraded and the normal ovoid outline becomes less defined.
The result of this less than perfect process often manifests itself in poo being walked into the house where the odor lingers longer than its presence.
Life is a bit of a dog poo hunt. You can plan ahead and do your best to consider all contingencies but it is that hidden piece of poo that gets you every time. I suppose the moral is to relax and accept that the “best laid plans of Mice and Men”, to quote Steinbeck, can never be perfect. In the end you can only hope that you are not remembered for the lingering odor of your failures.
PP Phil Maxwell, FD, GF&M